The more it happens, the more it hurts.....

Today one of my friends who used to go here instant messaged me around 3:30ish. She told me about her break up with her boyfriend, I'm assuming because I sort of know him since he is in two of my current classes. Anyway some of the things she said got me thinking. It reminded me of some of the things I had gone through with the only man I ever loved.

Of course her situation and my former situation has its similarities and differences. For one, this is about the third or fourth sad break up for her that I have heard about. I've only been through two heartbreaks with one being major. The things that came out of her mouth have come out of mine though I'm sure others have felt and said them as well.

Things such as "I haven't gone to any of my classes, I haven't eaten, I can't sleep, I just don't feel like doing anything." I remember feeling like that, the feeling of not wanting to live any more because the pain is so powerful.

I do have to say I haven't had the bad luck that she has had with the men she has been involved with during her college career. Still these painful experiences are something she never saw herself going through, such as seeing someone all the while they were seeing someone else behind her back her freshman year here at LVC. As for me never in a million years would I have foreseen myself telling this boy I hang out with everyday that I think I'm falling in love with him and how much he means to me. Well not that part exactly but after saying that we were intimate and an hour after we were finish you know what he did. He f**ked someone else. I cried in the peace garden with my friend Sharon handing my hand asking God what I could have done to deserve this. I thought about every single thing I had done wrong but I felt that nothing I had done could have possibly lead to this type of karma.

I understand where Devon is coming from though. Why does this keep happening to people like her and I. Are we bad people? Most importantly will we ever find someone who would be doing shitty things to us or behind our backs. All I know is that the more it happens, the more and longer it hurts, only because we can't believe its happening again.