It's been a while

I have not written an entry for a while now and lots of things have changed since the last time I wrote one. So I think I'll be writing more now especially since I have a lot on my mind.

I hate technology always and forever

Sometimes when it rains, it pours.

Today or I should say yesterday since it's after 12, one of the worst things that can happen to a college student happened to me. I was still home in NJ when around 2 pm I decided to turn on my computer and check my email real quick before I headed back to school. I turned it on as I always do and then the magical black screen suddenly came up. It told me that my computer couldn't read my Windows program and that I needed to reinsert my Windows Vista CD. Now for all of yous that don't understand what that means it means that everything I have on my hard drive is now gone. So, I put in the CD when all of a sudden the computer wouldn't even start. I went into panic mood, all that work I had done was gone and now my effing computer that isn't even one year old won't turn on.

The first thing I did was I called my mother. As soon as I heard her voice I broke down. Now I know it was foolish of me to save my work on my computer instead of a usb drive but I didn't have one so I save it on my laptop. I couldn't control myself the tears just poured out from my face, all of the work I had done was gone. Every single paper I had done that was due this week had just vanished in front of me. What professor would believe me that around 2 something my computer had given up on me. Truthfully it sounds like complete bulls**t or maybe I'm just in denial cause I don't want to believe that this is true. I have three papers due in a few hours as well as a final exam. I'm so f**ked but maybe I deserve this. Maybe I did something wrong but all I know is that I have my work cut out for me. I just needed to get this out of my chest, I really hate technology but mostly Dell.

God help me get through these next two days........

Weekend Plans

My weekend is going to start tomorrow with the annual Psych department BBQ party. I'm making Spanish rice and strawberry lemonade. I'm also helping my friend make some delicious fudge brownies. After the party I'm going home so I can see my puppy Cosmo who I'm missing like crazy. I wonder how big he has gotten; I haven't seen him in like two weeks.

Sorry Bob, I didn't know what else to write about. Also I finish an entry from before it's under the second music video. I have so much work to do and honestly all I want to do sleep.

I'm done....

It's official I have senorities. All I want to do is sleep and lay around after all I've been taking college course from August of 2004 til now including summers where I have taken any where from 6 to 16 credits......I'm exhausted mentally. Summer please hurry.

Stuck in my mind

For some reason this song has been stuck in my head all day long. I decided to share it with everyone so it can get stuck in your heads.

The more it happens, the more it hurts.....

Today one of my friends who used to go here instant messaged me around 3:30ish. She told me about her break up with her boyfriend, I'm assuming because I sort of know him since he is in two of my current classes. Anyway some of the things she said got me thinking. It reminded me of some of the things I had gone through with the only man I ever loved.

Of course her situation and my former situation has its similarities and differences. For one, this is about the third or fourth sad break up for her that I have heard about. I've only been through two heartbreaks with one being major. The things that came out of her mouth have come out of mine though I'm sure others have felt and said them as well.

Things such as "I haven't gone to any of my classes, I haven't eaten, I can't sleep, I just don't feel like doing anything." I remember feeling like that, the feeling of not wanting to live any more because the pain is so powerful.

I do have to say I haven't had the bad luck that she has had with the men she has been involved with during her college career. Still these painful experiences are something she never saw herself going through, such as seeing someone all the while they were seeing someone else behind her back her freshman year here at LVC. As for me never in a million years would I have foreseen myself telling this boy I hang out with everyday that I think I'm falling in love with him and how much he means to me. Well not that part exactly but after saying that we were intimate and an hour after we were finish you know what he did. He f**ked someone else. I cried in the peace garden with my friend Sharon handing my hand asking God what I could have done to deserve this. I thought about every single thing I had done wrong but I felt that nothing I had done could have possibly lead to this type of karma.

I understand where Devon is coming from though. Why does this keep happening to people like her and I. Are we bad people? Most importantly will we ever find someone who would be doing shitty things to us or behind our backs. All I know is that the more it happens, the more and longer it hurts, only because we can't believe its happening again.

Personality Tests

I'm not sure why but I like to take on-line personality test. I do this to see what parts of my personality has changed and what parts are still the same. For instance, with the Myers-Briggs tests I have gone from INFP to ENFP meaning I have gone from being an introvert to an extrovert. Actually with most personality test that part is the only part that has changed in me. I still get shy moments like when I'm going on a date but for the most part I talk a lot more than I used to do. I think I have changed for the better, it feels nice to let others know how you feel and to voice my opinion.